When doing the chores becomes more then a pain...

Settling into my current role as housewife, I'm come to - I'm loathed to say 'enjoy', I guess 'happily tolerate' would be more correct - doing chores. Cooking I love, but things like cleaning, ironing, washing etc are just those things in life that have to be done and nowadays I do them with a smile. Most of the time that is - there comes a point when doing the chores becomes more then a slight pain, it becomes downright challenging.

We've had a bit of snow these past few days here in Flatland and as much as I'm loving the pretty, white fluffy stuff out there, I've discovered it makes a few things in my day a little more difficult.

Yesterday I went to do the mopping and discovered that my mop had found a new calling as a snow bunny. I leave it on the balcony to dry in the sun after mopping and 99% of the time forget to bring it back in - usually, this doesn't  matter but with all the freezing temperatures and snow, my mop and bucket were not only covered in snow, but the mop head had become solidly frozen and stuck to the balcony floor. I dislodged the bucket quite easily and cleared the snow off the mop and tried to pull it off only to have the whole thing fall apart and a handle in my hands with no mop head attached. It took multiple kettle loads of boiling water poured over the thing before I could eventually pry it off the frozen floor, piece by piece. I took it inside and then spent another half an hour defrosting it in a bucket of warm water - it was well and truly frozen. By the time I got to actually do the mopping, I figured that it probably would have been quicker and easier to take 5mins to pop down to the shops and buy a new one.

This one isn't such a biggie but when temperatures are below 0, the rubbish freezes. We have to leave our rubbish bags on our balcony til collection day (Wednesday) because there seems to be no such thing as a green bin here. And don't get me started of the recycling - or lack there of. They don't make it easy here!!!!! Anyway, taking the rubbish out is the one housewifey chore I've refused to take on - handy Lu won't touch revolting rubbish!!!! I leave it to Mitch and as I lay under the doona this morning while Mitch bolted out the door with the snow covered rubbish bag (trying not to drip too much melting snow through the house), I was ever so pleased this is his job.

When it's bitterly cold out (as I type this post it's a toasty -6 outside - there's a reason why I'm blogging and not at the grocery store despite the lack of bread & milk in the house), doing the groceries becomes a pain. It involves rugging up in endless layers and yet still feeling the cold the second you open the front door. I usually do a grocery 'stock up' in the car once a week or fortnight and the rest of the time, I try and ride my bike to the shops like the rest of the country. We were in need of a grocery stock up yesterday but when I walked outside, I was greeted by a frosty car. We hadn't driven since all the ice and snow that started on Monday and I was feeling slightly nervous about attempting to de-ice the car without a proper scraper and when I looked at the slippery, icy roads and the number of cars driving ever so slowly, I decided I would leave my car de-icing and snow driving practice for another day and take the bike instead. The snow had been cleared around my bike and after dumping the piles of soft snow onto the ground, I was off!!!! Rather then going straight to the shops, I decided to be clever and go to the car store where I bought 5L of antifreeze, snow chains and an ice scraper - now, I'm prepared to drive the car again!!!!

Its frosty days like these that doing the chores becomes a pain... But I wouldn't have it any other way - it's all a bit of an adventure at the moment!!!!

I shall call them super, awesome, almond biscuits!

While I love making biscuits from scratch, the temptation was too strong for me to resist the easiness of pre-made cookie dough and a tub of sugary, almond paste. With Christmas coming closer at an alarming rate, the supermarkets are being stocked with tasty things to prepare every housewife with the necessities to make every Christmas sweet. While the packaging of the cookie dough shows pictures of boomerang shaped biscuits, I thought of an idea to make these cookies even better. I am a HUGE fan of marzipan and all things almondy so it was only appropriate to create a super, awesome, almond biscuit.

Queue some music, preheat the oven and prepare the kitchen bench for some serious dough rolling. Armed with my rolling pin I set to work on the pliable dough and rolled it out to about 5mm thin. It was almost too tempting to eat the dough raw but I kept telling myself that the finished product will be even better. I scooped spoonfuls of almond paste out of the tub, rolled it into a ball and carefully crafted the dough around the ball making sure not to leave any gabs so the almond paste could ooze out once it was in the heat of the oven. Once the dough was formed into a nice, little ball I dipped the top in some super fine sugar, popped it on the oven tray and pressed it down with a fork which left a nice pattern in the top of a very tasty looking biscuit.

After the tray was full of these beauties, I popped it in the oven and eagerly waited while they baked away to create almondy bliss for my mouth. Hopefully for Roy's sake I can refrain from eating the whole lot before he gets home from work.

A new career perhaps???

Lately I've come to realise that I may have missed my calling - as a handy man. In a little over 4 weeks, our dishwasher died, almost brand new vacuum cleaner broke, hot water system continually crashed, washing machine stopped working and yesterday it was all topped off with our hot water cupboard flooding. It's times like these that I'm so pleased that we are only renting our lovely apartment and don't own it - otherwise I think I'd be increasingly frustrated with all these things dying at once.

Back in Aussie-land, Mitch and I both worked full time and so I always left fixing these types of practical things up to him seeing as both of us were lacking spare time. Nowadays, I'm a proud to be a housewife - a busy busy housewife mind you, I'm forever cooking, cleaning, entertaining and chauffeuring but seeing as I don't work, I've taken on things I would never have considering breaking a nail over in Australia - and so 'handy Lu' has emerged.

Now rid yourself of all stereotypical handy man visions here - this handy lady does not sport a charming plumbers behind or wear a sawdust covered toolbelt. No, this handy lady is usually seen in a dress, tights and boots, armed with fabric scissors, sticky tape and a knitting needle. Although, I do wish I had a trendy hammer - like one my fellow housewife and I spotted last week while shopping during our housewives conference - it was pink and flowery and oh-so-pretty...

Anyway - I've become a bit of a pro lately at dealing with repairmen, landlords and learning how to fix things. The vacuum cleaner is now securely sticky taped together (it works a treat!) while awaiting replacement parts... I've also perfected the art of grabbing a towel and running out to the hot water cupboard (situated in our kitchen beside a typically Dutch HUGE curtain-less window, no less) and re-setting the hot water system (after it died 2 minutes into every shower - only showers had when I was home alone and had no Mitch to go fix it for me of course) in record time before any of the traffic on our busy street noticed the soggy cranky Aussie girl in the window...

I also attempted to translate the washing machine manual (which although it was in Dutch, I probably would still have required a translation if it was in English -  me and manuals just don't mix) when it suddenly died and made a terrifying humming noise - ended up having Mitch google chat me through searching for the problem, which I'm ashamed to admit was just that our landlady's boyfriend had disconnected the water supply when removing our old dishwasher the previous day - I had a red face when I figured that one out..

Yesterday morning I got up and discovered the hot water cupboard - also our supply cupboard for plastic bags (I now keep all reasonable plastic bags seeing as you have to PAY for them here!!!!), toilet rolls and the like - was extremely soggy. It started with a drip out of one pipe and within an hour was steadily dripping from all sorts of random places that didn't look like water should ever drip out of. After attacking it with paper towel and wondering if sticky tape would also be a suitable solution for this problem, I had to hang up my imaginary tool belt and contact our landlady. Within hours, a real life handy man from the energy company was here (who was grumpy and didn't speak a word of English unlike the rest of the country, except for the word 'yellow' - when his gesturing angrily towards the yellow sponge in the sink didn't work on me, he muttered yellow until I handed it to him) and hopefully fixed the problem - so far, the cupboard is bone dry. Here's hoping it stays that way...

After the past weeks of releasing my inner handyman, I'm pleased to say I finally have a real result on one of my broken appliances - A BRAND NEW DISHWASHER!!!!!!!!!!! It's amazing what makes my day nowadays. I'm a bit in love with my new dishwasher - it's shiny, smells new and has all sorts of exciting compartments for carefully stacking my dishes in. I'm also pleased to say it has a timer so I can now set it to go off during off-peak electricity hours - ah, the 'cheap' Dutch are rubbing off on me (in the best possible way of course)...

So, with my hands now being freed of dirty dishwater, a verdict has been reached on the To Paint vs Not To Paint case - I think an afternoon with some hot pink nail polish is in store for me :-)

If the men get to go to conferences, why can't we?

We are fast approaching the 2nd ever Housewives conference for the Two Trailing Spouses which is being held in the tiny town of Saint-Maurice in Not-so-flatland. The conference will commence on the night of the 6th November and it's looking to shape up as a rather fine evening indeed. With a boot-load of speculoos paste, stroopwafels and girly, pink, Belgian beer the housewives will kick off a fantastic week of cooking, giggling, drinking, eating, giggling, scaring husbands and a bit more of that giggling that tends to go on at these types of events. There is lots to prepare before this event can take place. Lots of laundry to be washed, dishes to be cleaned, groceries to be bought....

Fannie Farmer's Book of Good Dinners.

After much meditation and experience, I have divined that it takes as much sense and refinement and talent to cook dinner, wash and wipe a dish, make a bed and dust a room, as goes to the writing of a novel, or shining in high society. - Rose Terry Cooke

A long browse in a secondhand shop in the nearby town of Martigny (in not-so-flatland), I happened upon a little gem of a book that will inspire me to create "Good Dinners" for Roy to come home to after a long day at work. The edition that I bought was published in 1972 but the first edition was published in 1905 making it over 100 years old - before food was packed with preservatives, highly processed and packaged in more plastic than the world can handle.

The book is set out in multiple course menus, most with rather strange, old fashioned recipes that I wouldn't eat but hey, there's nothing wrong with a bit of adaptation right? It's what every housewife learns to do best! At the top of each menu there is a quote to inspire a housewife to whip up a storm and to feel good about what she does.

No man can be wise on an empty stomach - George Eliot

Okay so Boiled calves tongues don't sound very appetizing now, but I'm sure it went down a treat back in the early 1900's when the men came home from work all tired, dirty and hungry.

I have a feeling that a few of these menus will be tested out at our next "Housewife conference".

The art of improvisation

Being a housewife has allowed me to work on my improvisation skills. Although I've never been huge on following recipes to a T, the thought of re-venturing outside into 2 degree weather outside when I realise I've as usual forgotten something from the shops (grocery lists help, but I'm a skim reader from way back - I tend to miss things) has forced me on many occasions to sift through the cupboards and improvise our meals.

During our 'housewives conference' (as I'm calling it - it sounds like a great excuse to me for regular catch ups, lets hope Easy Jet does frequent flyer miles!) the other week, I think we fine tuned the art of improvisation when attempting the ultimate in French desserts - the Creme Brulee. Light, creamy and full of custard-y goodness, creme brulee is topped off so perfectly by that crunchy caramelized sugar top - cracking it always reminds me of the film Amelie...

Step 1: Purchase equipment. We bought some little white ramekins and a blow torch to set us off on our creme brulee adventure.

Step 2: Fill the blow torch with gas. Sounds easier then it actually was... My little torch didn't work and gas leaked out of it when filling - no surprises there really considering I purchased it from Xenos (think along the lines of 'Crazy Clarks'). We also discovered that it tends to give you unpleasant electrical shock if you attempt to light it while touching the metal on top...

Step 3: Make the custard. This had to be done one day in advance (which was painful - I like eating things as soon as they're made!) and was surprisingly simple. We boiled away the ingredients on the stove, placed the ramekins in a tray of water and baked away.

Step 4: Once the custards had set in the fridge overnight (we were SO good and didn't even peek or dip a finger in!), the fun part began - burning the brown sugar on top. Feeling overly confident in our dessert skills, I had decided earlier that day that we could definitely improvise the lack of a blow torch. I had thoughts of burning matches over the sugar; or somehow holding it over the flame on the gas stove; heating a spoon and attempting to use it to melt the sugar... A little bit of Googling later and we had our solution - putting the custards in a tray of ice water and under a very hot grill. We knew it would be challenging as the custard has to remain cold, but these 2 housewives rose to the occasion...

Step 5: Bon appetit! Our little creme brulees were delicious (no photos sadly - we just dug into them far too quickly to turn a camera on) - the custard was ever so slightly overheated, but I think we did pretty well for our first attempt. Our hard work definitely paid off when cracking the sugar on top - yummmmm..... But, I think it's time to bite the bullet and purchase a proper blow torch - I could definitely see creme brulee featuring on the menu again :-)

Buon appetito - the dinner party experiment, part 1

I LOVE to eat - and seeing as eating usually involves cooking, when we weren't crafting away or saving my bike from a Dutch bike stealing ring, us two housewives were cooking up a storm here in Nijmegen last week. Rather then just baking a cake, we decided to go all out and do themed dinners.

Night 1 = Italian. We had visions of a candle lit dinner, starting with an Italian aperitif (carefully chosen from the supermarket because of its cute little bottles & red fizzy appearance), beautifully crafted gnocchi and chocolate meringues for dessert...

I've made my own gnocchi plenty of times in the past and it's always been a breeze - it tastes so much better then store bought and if you can mash potatoes, then you can make gnocchi in my opinion.

The potatoes were boiling away...

The dough was being mixed... (and in hindsight, this is when I should have realised something was wrong - I just couldn't get the consistency right but gave up and rolled the little dough balls anyway...)

And by this stage, the balls had kinda melted into little mush - but we were having fun with the dough anyway!

We chose to make the little meringues because lets face it - they look pretty darn cute on that website. Ours however, didn't so much resemble acorns - more something you'd find in a dog park...

We beat the egg whites to that beautiful fluffy marshmallow stage...

Folded in the cocoa, maizena and various other ingredients to give it that yummy chocolatey taste...

And piped away onto a baking tray...

We forgot to take any photos of the finished product (2 of these sandwiched together with some melted chocolate) but lets just say, the recipe was misleading... Despite supposedly making 60 little meringues halves, we only ended up with this tray????

So, Italian night - the verdict... Never again are we drinking Camparisoda (just cos something is red and fizzy doesn't mean it's sweet and tasty), the gnocchi was pretty tasty in its cheesy basil sauce, despite it's deformed shapes, and the meringues weren't quite as expected, but still chocolately and yummy - so how wrong can you go...

We may still need to perfect our housewifey dinner party skills - but I think that's just a perfect excuse for some more feasts to be cooked when we next meet again - this time, in not-so-flatland...

I thought it was about time I learnt to sew.

Last week was our first ever housewife meet up since we both made the move to Europe. Not really being a fan of sewing or needle craft, I thought since I was now on the quest to become one of the best housewives ever (along with my fellow housewife friend) that it was about time I learnt this handy craft that so many housewives have perfected. My fellow housewife Lu has this craft down to a fine art, having made toys, quilts and plenty of other crafty things with her own two hands (which sadly lack some much needed hot pink nail polish).

We sat at the table with the essentials - a packet of stroopwafels, almond rounds, chocolate (from not-so-flatland) and a computer to search for something to inspire us to create something that we could wear in unison while we embark on this quest to become the best housewives. We googled, giggled, ate, giggled some more and finally decided that we should make a pair of Matryoshka Doll brooches to pin on our aprons. Lu being the whiz with a needle, whipped hers up in no time while at the same time trying to teach me how to blanket stitch my little, fabric lady together. I finally managed to complete the process of stitching her together - with a few minor hiccups, then it was time to get a little creative and give her a face.  Lets just say that this was not my finest hour. My cute little Matryoshka Doll ended up looking like a tired, depressed and somewhat angry lady which I guess kind of suited her since it took me about four hours to complete.

Even though sewing isn't one of my favourite hobbies, I felt quite satisfied with completing this tiny little fabric lady.

This is us trying to portray how our little fabric ladies were feeling. As you can see, mine is a little sad.

To paint, or not to paint?

Ok, I admit it - I'm a girly girl. Which is why, on a dark stormy night last week here in Flatland when our dishwasher broke and half our lovely kitchen collapsed for no apparent reason, my first concern was not for the potentially fire-causing dangling electrical wires in the wall, but my fingernails.

In the midst of the lightening and thunder flying around us, my husband is on the floor with a mop handle attempting to somehow lift the dishwasher back onto its dodgily made platform, muttering about fire hazards and water leakage while I stared at my nails which I had been dutifully filing every day in preparation for a lovely shade of hot pink.

After an hour of heaving, shoving and mopping (if the Dutch were as curious as I about looking in people's large front windows, we would've provided the entire neighborhood with enough entertainment to base a sitcom off), the dishwasher was back in place - on a noticeable lean - and the skirting boards clipped back on. I breathed a sigh of relief - surely that was the hard part???

After a few emails and phone calls, we had an appointment a few nights later for our landlady and her boyfriend to come and view the damage. Thankfully, both our real estate agent and landlady speak some English, so I didn't have to spend the afternoon glued to google translate in preparation for their visit. After much muttering in Dutch that I pretended to understand (living in foreign countries has made me a pro at the smile-and-nod move) while inspecting the dishwasher & cupboards, it was decided that the work of a professional was needed. A few days later, at no set time of the day (the 'we'll be there anytime between 9am and 5pm rule also applies over here apparently) in comes the dishwasher fix it man. After a hurried goedemorgen and before attempting any further Dutch, I rush him up the stairs and point at the start button - niet werken, niet werken. Turns out he actually spoke reasonable English and after many more mutterings and unscrewing the ... I guess it's the motherboard of dishwashers?, he gleefully points at the fried electrical segment and tells me our dishwasher is thirty year old (I think he meant 3 - I don't think pretty stainless steel Whirlpools fitted in with the home decor of the early 1980's) and we either need a new one or the part replaced...

Now as I sit and wait for our landlady to make her decision and repair our precious dishwashing machine, I once again find myself staring at my fingernails. After more then a week of scrubbing saucepans and carefully rinsing wine glasses, I have since given up on my daily file. The question is - to paint, or not to paint?

Although the Dutch are generally quite efficient, I have a feeling I might be elbow deep in soapy water for longer then I had anticipated. Perhaps this housewife will celebrate the return of the dishwasher with a visit to the manicurist. Although, the thought of the time required to carefully practice my manicure related words with my old friend, google translate (sadly, although Nederlands voor anderstaligen explained the necessary phrases for a visit to the doctor, a visit to the beauty salon was not covered) kinda puts a dampener on that one....

How can I be the perfect housewife when I have to share a laundry?

Clothes pile up for a week and I can't do anything about it! When I embarked on this journey to a new, unfamiliar land with the intention of becoming the perfect housewife I didn't think I would have to share a laundry. There is one machine shared between our building of perhaps ten apartments and it's locked so no one can have a sneaky wash after dark. Ohh what's a girl to do?

Since I don't know enough French to bargain with our concierge for extra washing time, I am reduced to sitting tight and waiting for my time slot. I walk up to the concierges door going over what I need to say in my head before she answers the door and when she finally does, I freeze, stutter and eventually she works out that I need to use the machine. I have etched my washing time in my brain to make sure I don't miss my day, otherwise my husband will run out of clean socks and underwear and I will have failed as a housewife.

One never truly appreciates the convenience of having their own washing machine until they have to share.

Two trailing spouses

Ever wonder what a day in the life of an ordinary 'housewife' entails?

We are Lu and Tiff, two average Australian women who have recently quit our jobs, said goodbye to our family and friends and packed up our comfortable lives in Australia to follow our husbands to the other side of the world - The Netherlands (flatland) and Switzerland (not-so-flatland). Our better halves (or are they???) have been friends since their early undergraduate days at university, not only completing their PhDs together, but now also working on the same project in Europe.

Being intrepid travelers from way back, we both jumped at the opportunity to experience everyday life in a different culture and soon found ourselves stay at home housewives in countries where neither of us speak the language. Even though we found ourselves sacrificing our days as 21st century women, we delighted in the thought of embracing our inner housewife.

From flatland to not-so-flatland, two housewives unite - welcome to Trailing Spouses :-)